Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
