Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have post one night stand depression
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