So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
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My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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