my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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