the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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