margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
