I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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