'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
