She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
