From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
