I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize