in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
