am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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