I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
