i permit you to call me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
