And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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