Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
