this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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