It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
