Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
