i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
