just come out here and I will go home with you...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
