Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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