It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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