I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so explain again why im purple
no
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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