Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
