i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
there is glitter all over my balls
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