omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
