you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
