Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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