im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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