i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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