I can't breathe out the right side of my face
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
this will be a night to untag.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize