the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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