Me too!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
