Nicole vs. Life
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
