maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize