i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
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