Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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