Sry I called you an 8
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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