U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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