paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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