I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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