There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
