dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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