We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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