You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
