Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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