I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
