So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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