The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
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I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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