The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
