i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
